| Being a BBW and single | |
“If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything”
Ok so I thought I would just try to mix it up here with my entries and write a little more personally and not make it all about the clothes. after all this is my plus size life in my plus size world isn’t it? So let me start by saying that it’s not like I’m newly single because I have been single for a very long time, but now that the person I was involved with has decided to pursue other pastures I’m looking for new ways to have meaningful relationships. I think my biggest mistake from when I started socializing up here in New England was relying on BBW Dances to meet men who were looking for something significant. Because the truth is on the whole, they’re not. It’s not to knock the dances because they are good for what they do and that is give a lot of women who don’t feel comfortable a place to have fun and mingle with men who like them. I have made a conscious choice to not attend any more of these singles events. I have to honestly say that I have never felt that BBW dating sites have any better proven track record. So then what is a single BBW to do?
I don’t know, stand her ground I suppose? I can honestly say that there have been times in my life when I have been lonely and wanted someone. But you know what? I don’t want someone there just to fill my void of being alone. I want someone that is going to be just as excited as waking up next to me in the morning as I am for him. I am looking for that person who I can teach my skills to and share my business ideas with and find ways to create income for ourselves and build our own life and future. Someone who can bring their knowledge to the mix as well and we can compliment each other and become a team. My busy little head is constantly brimming with ideas and I want to bring them all to life.
I’m not saying that being single is great, yay woo hooo let’s all be single lol!! I’m saying that being single doesn’t mean it has to be depressing or desperate. I’ve done the whole if you can’t beat em, join em thing. It really didn’t work for me, and that was because the inner me was saying, “hey Nicole, you don’t want this for yourself”. They rejected me and that gave me time to see It really had nothing to do with how I feel about the person. It was that ultimately, their choices for their life did not compliment mine and therefore trying to convince myself that I could accept their choice of lifestyle and willing to join them in their decline, I really was not prepared to do. There is a reason why our parents say to us, “if all your friends jumped off a cliff would you do it too”. I do my best not to be a Lemming and I have been ridiculed for it and I have been hurt as a result of it as well. But the fact remains that for every time I have stood my ground my life stopped declining. Every time one of those people left my life, my life improved. They will not dictate how my life goes.
So as a single BBW what am I going to do? I’m going to be done with the singles BBW dating scene and just enjoy my life as it is. If something happens that puts me in a place of meeting someone who has character and integrity then maybe I will give them a second look. For now I’m going to forgive and release myself from any unmet expectations by those who lack compassion towards others and only operate from a lack perspective. I know that for me, the world is not lacking at all.
