The women on my mother’s side of my family have a history of HBP, I don’t want to develop that because I am fat. I want to live one day that does not involve pain in my ankles, feet, legs, and back. I honestly cannot remember a day when I didn’t have pain in my ankles, I would say it was probably childhood years. I wholeheartedly feel that being fat is not something that brings longevity, and I’m not content blowing up like a 550+ lb blob. I ran my own erotic BBW website for about 6-7 years, and when I look at some of these women getting fatter and fatter for the sake of being fat, I can’t help but think that they are mentally ill. Every fat woman who has kept gaining weight for her website and money has died at a very early age, most of them in their forties. The people who participate in that half of the BBW community don’t want to hear fat people talking about wanting to be a normal functioning weight. They want us all to adopt the same mindset that is killing them all off.

My ultimate intention for everything I’ve done was to make people see me as someone who was pretty and sexy in a big way and that I’m not ugly just because I’m fat. I’m not sexy because of my fat or lack thereof, I just am. It was never to join the gainer crusade.